Ask The Expert > grooms


Top hat and tails?

I really want to wear a top hat and tails because it's traditional but my fiancée thinks I'll get too hot as our wedding's in August. What do you think? I need back up! Jim, Wales

Hugh Harris says :

Hi Jim, I think if you really want to wear this then you should go for it. After all, it's you that will get hot not your bride! They do look great in photos, and if you get too warm you can take off your jacket. You won't want to keep the hat on all day — just for photos. Speak to your fiancée and explain that you want to follow tradition. I'm sure she'll understand.

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Smelling good!

Can you suggest an aftershave that would be particularly suitable for my wedding day?
Jez, Bretton, Peterborough

Darren Noel says :

You want something that lasts, but that won’t be overwhelming – a subtle scent is the aim here. Smell is a great way to conjure up memories, so pick a scent that you’re likely to wear again and again. Bvlgari makes particularly masculine scents; Emporio Armani has perfected the art of matching male and female scents, as has Ralph Lauren, which can be a lovely wedding day gesture. The best way to choose one, though, is to try it on, as aftershave and perfume smell different on everyone. So get down to the perfume counter and dab no more than one on each wrist, wear then for a day and if you (and your wife-to-be) still like then at the end of the day, it’s a winner!

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Speech jitters

I’m getting nervous about my speech – should it be funny or serious and romantic?
Harry McLeod, Edinburgh

Aaron Reynolds says :

Wedding speeches differ depending on the type of person you are and the audience you’re delivering to. Regardless of how funny or serious your speech is going to be, there are some essentials that you should always include. Complimenting the bridesmaids on how gorgeous they look and thanking them for all their hard work is a good place to start. Then thank your ushers and best man, followed by your family. Then your bride’s family for accepting you into their family and last, but by no means least, your bride. This is the bit that can get emotional, and everyone, especially your bride, will remember it. A few sentimental words from the heart is normal, and brings the day back down to reality. To banish nerves, make sure you practise your speech over and over before the big day. Remember, everyone listening is a friend of yours and will be feeling happy for you and your bride.

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Helping hands

Can you tell me exactly what an usher should do? Apart from being in charge of the ring and being the one to sort out the suits, I’m not sure what his role is.
Pete Sawford, Milton Keynes

Aaron Reynolds says :

Leading up to the wedding your main job is to support the best man in tasks like arranging suit fittings, assisting in organising the stag do and making sure your available for dress rehearsals of the actual day.  On the wedding day the Usher should arrive early before the groom, find out what facilities there are in the chosen location so you can assist the guest with any questions, greet all guests on arrival and in a friendly manner direct them to their seat, brides family and friends generally sit on the left hand side and the grooms all sit on the right.  Make sure all close family members are seated near the front. Remember when seating people you take into account the following factors; Children, the Elderly and guests with big hats as they all have different needs. Any late arrivals to the ceremony need to be directed to the closest seat.  After the ceremony it is the usher's job to make sure all guests get to reception safely and with all their possessions.

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Perfect match

I’d like to wear a coloured cravat but my fiancée said it should match her dress (she’s wearing ivory). What should I do and should my best man’s cravat match my own? Shane, Birmingham

Darren Noel says :

You should definitely speak with your bride-to-be and see what colour theme is being spread throughout your wedding.  If she is having a certain colour in her bouquet or a coloured sash on her dress then it might be a good idea to have your cravat match that scheme. Usually, a wedding is themed throughout with just one or two colours so it shouldn’t be hard to find a cravat that falls into those shades. A common choice is for the groom to wear one colour cravat with the rest of the male party wearing another colour. If you are having waistcoats, you can try something similar with them.

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The perfect colour!

I read perfect wedding every month and it has given me many ideas. After many months searching for the perfect colour teal cravat and ribbon, I saw one in your January 2009 issue (Julie and Ian's real-life wedding). I'm looking for cravat and ribbon that is exactly the same colour featured in the article. Is there any way you could find out where they got their cravat and their ribbon. I love the colour teal and I think it is increasingly popular but judging by the online forum posts many of us struggle to find matching accessories! Zoe

says :

The cravat you saw was from a manufacturer called Van Buck International (vanbuck.com) and hired from Graeme Hewes Menswear, Lichfield. With any luck they may have supplied this to a hire firm near you. Alternatively, find a fabric store and, if you can buy the exact match, have cravats made. A lot of bridal shops offer this service. Hugh Harris use silks from James Hare and have cravats made from over 200 colours. Silk is often the best fabric to complement the vibrant bridesmaids colours.

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Hiring suits

I’m not sure where I should go for my suit hire. Can you tell me the difference between local hire shops and nationwide ones such as Moss Bros?
Robert, Glasgow

Hugh Harris says :

Being an independent tailor, I may be biased but the factual differences are these: firstly, an independent store will normally have established, very experienced staff. They will be keen to get things right as this is their livelihood and reputation is important. National stores, on the other hand, have the advantage of being cheaper but they may have a more generic range on offer. It is also inevitable that a nationwide service will vary from store to store, so watch out for any inconsistencies with sizing.

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Winter wedding

I am getting married next November and we have yet to decide on a colour scheme. My girlfriend is wearing white and she is happy for me to choose my colours as they will be central to my look on the day. What do you suggest is a good colour scheme in keeping with the winter season? Brian, Preston

Hugh Harris says :

Reds and greens are popular winter colours. Always research the colour of suit you want before deciding on a colour scheme. Clients sometimes choose a colour scheme and buy the waistcoat only to discover they can’t find a suit to match!

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